Advice on the Importance of equality in a relationship:

•April 25, 2012 • Leave a Comment


“If your partner is taking steps to make things better  how can you not at least try to do the same.”

Personal Power day_5

•April 24, 2012 • Leave a Comment

Goal setting is a primary key to all life-long success plans you can only imagine.

The main reason new year’s goals  basically do not work is because they are set as casual thing and really small part  of people work with them during the whole year.

Your goals are key part in process of improvement so daily practice is a necessity.
With goals we create a future in advance, we create our destiny, we shape our lives. We all have goals even if we are unaware of them. The problem is some people have  really lousy goals and whatever your goals are there are affecting you.

Maybe your goals are to get through this lousy day, maybe to  somehow pay lousy bill. The problem with goals like these is  they are not exactly inspire you to jump out of bed early in the morning and say “I can not wait to achieve my today’s goals!”

You can know all the technics of how to condition yourself to succeed but if you do not know why you are doing it then it is rare that you will get the most out of yourself.

Do not get real, if you choose your future based on your passion you can go anywhere.  You have to get goals big enough to drive you, to excite you! Set goal that if achieved it will change your live in each possible way.

The fundamental key to goal setting is this statement: purpose is stronger that outcome. The purpose of goals is not that you get things, the real reason to set goals is what them make of you as a person.  The things you accumulate will not gonna  make you happy, at the end of your life all you will have  is who you become as a person. You got to make sure when setting a goal why you are doing it. Let’s say you want to make 1 million  dollars. Becoming a kind of person who achieved financial independence, who has the freedom to do things that you think that money will give you or having more time that will definitely motivate you lot more than just money. Does this make sense for you?

Reason comes first answers come second, if you get the big enough reason to do  something, to accomplish something  you can figure out how to do it. Every great success has the WHY behind goals that were set to achieve it.

When you set a goal the where you are now  is not where you want to be which is you begin to notice the distinctions between where want to be and where you are  and as you feel that distinction your brain becomes dissatisfied and  part of what motivates human action is a sense of dissatisfaction. When you are totally comfortable and relax you are not super motivated to make any things happen. Pressure and tension are primary drivers of our actions. Learning to manage pressure and tension in your life is probably one of the basic lesson we almost master if we really want to have a balanced life and to feel happy and succesful. Pressure should be seen as a tool for influencing yourself!

You have to review your list of goals in details at least once a month and review the top goals daily. It is kind of consistence review that will keep you ion track and produce those results that you committed to.

Now it is time to write down your personal goals. Let’s have three group of goals.

1) Personal development – emotional, social, physical body, mental goals, your spirituality

2) Thing you want to do, things you want to have

3) Financial goals

Before beginning this exercise imagine you are a little kid again, get state of mind of child believing that everything is possible that you can get anything you can only imagine – it is christmas eve and you can tell your wishes to santa. Take a piece of paper and in 7 minuets write your goals in those three groups. Now write down next to each goal the number 1, 3 or 5 that corresponds in how many years you will accomplish the specific goal. Do this with each group of goals. Now chose three goals  from each group you want to accomplish in the nearest year that have  the biggest meaning for you and  you and write them down again on other sheet of paper.

Now when you already have your 9 goals you have to prepare plan how to achieve them. Take some actions today to initiate those goals. Check what is needed to become who you want to become, check if there are any workshops you can attend to get knowledge in topic that is interested to you.

*** blog, budget correction, sold earphones, gym, laundry, dentist, physical examination, math, pattern interruption

Personal Power day_4

•April 23, 2012 • Leave a Comment

Yesterday we learnt what the Neuro-Associative Conditioning(NAC) is. Today it is time to understand how to use the knowledge we already have in this subject.

There are traditional kinds of therapist that are widely used in the world. The problem with them is that they work in some situations and in others they don`t, and those “don`t” bring us to NAC. If  during a therapy session the meaning of what had happened in somebody’s life changed we have the result we wanted. And in each type of therapy the thing is, the patient change his associations to the things he has a problem with.

THREE FUNDAMENTALS you will remember as  everyday prayer.

>>>  Use leverage on yourself
You must get to the point where you belive that something must change, that you must change it, and that you can change it right now. You have to get to the point where  you feel like not changing would be painful, massively painful and change would mean pleasure. If you only at the point of believing that you should change or you could change or you might change that is not enough to create long-lasting change at most cases. So use leverage!

>>>  Interrupt the pattern of actual association
During thinking about something when your pattern  is “active”, interrupt it! For example if somebody has phobia about dogs, he has to think about dogs and get the feeling he usually get in this situation. During this state he has to do something that is weird, funny or stupid to change way he fell. After repeating it with one and the same pattern he will destroy it. If you drink alcohol on each party, go to the one and abdicate drinking – when you are about to take a champagne glass touch somebody’s(your) nose or do some push ups. You have to change the state of mind when you know the pattern starts to influence your behaviour. Give your brain the  bright sign that it is possible to spend great time having  only water with lemon in your hand.  Having more people included in this exercise – instead of doing something “weird” person that want to break the pattern  should  get  a question not connected to this pattern. In situation with drinking it culd be be: “do you like oranges?” or  “do you want to go swimming on friday? Repeat it few times and get the results you want!

>>>  Create new association
Connect pleasure to change and great pain to staying in the place you are now. Imagine how great or better your life can be, I am sure it is worth changing.

START using NAC. Find 10 reasons you have to change and 5 ways how you can interrupt your actual patterns.

*** blog, cable repair, DS-14, gym,  laundry, math consultation, picking up x-ray, seminary

Personal Power day_3

•April 22, 2012 • Leave a Comment

Today you will learn about the Neuro-Associative Conditioning. Most of us have heard that thinking positive is going to really change our lives. The biggest problem with positive thinking is you have to think about it. You and I live in stimulus-response world so in most situation you do not have enough time to think before you take action, your conditioned response define  how you react.

Every single action you take as little as it may be has an effect on your life. Everything you think or do has a cost of emotions. Reading this blog has cost of emotion, not reading this blog has a cost of emotions. We need to decide what we want from life and then find out what we have to think, what we have to belive in to get to the place we want. The time to design the next twenty years is now, not twenty years from now when you come back and say “I wish I would” or “I wish I should”!

What are things in life that if you just change the meaning you have to these things it will literally change your destiny. Meaning  it will change how you feel, how you behave daily the kind of results you get from your actions. Let’s see an example: why is the  cocaine  number one selling product in America? The answer is simple, cocaine does something that virtually everybody wants  – it immediately eliminates pain and create instant pleasure. But there are still those that never use it. Some people linked up in their minds taking cocaine with ultimate pain, pain of being addicted person, being out of control and in result not having the freedom to make their life the way they want to.

What are the consequences of the present associations I have in my life. Where are they taking me? Are they taking me the  direction I really want to go? Those are questions you have to answer.

Why so many people smoke cigarets? Because they link pleasure and relax to smoking, that is worth more than money they pay and  health the loose with each cigarette. Keep it in mind and do not let commercials or group behaviors control your neuro-associations! You are always creating anchors by the way you react in different types of situation. Most of our associations have no basis in reality – they feel real to us but they are as the one as Pavlo’s dog  had, where at the mere sound of the bell, the dog responded by drooling.

What would be associations that you would create to things like learning, growing, relationship, power, money and your other values?

Write down three associations you created in the past that shape your destiny for the positive and three negative of them.
Identifying associations you have is the first step you need to take if you want to change your life.

*** bike trip, blog, call to parents, church, math, swimming pool, relax

Personal Power day_2

•April 21, 2012 • Leave a Comment

Every single person on this earth is driven by two forces: the need to avoid pain and the desire to gain pleasure. Keep the ideas simple and focused but get to use them!  The need to avoid pain is biological, it is built-in your nervous system. To change our eating patterns we have to find some of the foods that we are addicted to. We like to eat chocolate because it is  pleasurable – we associate deep pleasure and not as big pain when we are about to eating a chocolate. The same thing is with asking beautiful woman for a date – you have to decide between pleasure of being in relationship and pain that rejection can bring you. In most cases the need of avoid pain is a  greater motivator for people than the desire for pleasure. People would do more to avoid  pain, than they ever will to gain pleasure.

What would be your choice if you had to decide between: saving 25.000 $ and keeping somebody from stealing 25.000 $ from you? Usually you do more to avoid pain…

You should make primary focus on the things that really matter for you. For example you focus on pain you will get from eating fat food and pleasure from being healthy. Link not taking action with pain, if it is hard  for you then try to imagine pain in the future that can meet you.

Link pain with having no money in the future, link pain with being fat person, link pain with not being able to ski or swim when other can. It is working, focus on pain and take advantage of it!

What would be the pain if I do not take action, what would be the price I have to pay if I do not take action?

Write down 4 actions you could take but you have not done yet. Link pain and pleasure to them the way that will give you energy to take action and see how the associations work. Make sure you apply pain and pleasure associations to each task you have the problem with.

*** barbecue, bike, blog, gym, call to grandma, math

Personal Power day_1

•April 20, 2012 • Leave a Comment

http://itsjhworld.com/lifestyle/personal-power

FOUR steps formula

1) You need to know your outcome (what you want in your life mentally, emotionally, socially, spiritually, intellectually), CLARITY is power, you can not power yourself not knowing your goals. Ask you the question: “What is my outcome” in everyday situation – meeting friends, at church, everywhere! Most people do not know what they want. Some of them know but do nothing about that. You need to decide now!

2) Get yourself to take action – DECIDE. Expect more from yourself that anyone else would. The biggest trap is the fear, the fear of failure, the fear of success and others like fear of looking silly. It’s like with building the muscle. You should start small and built every single day and you became stronger. Failure can be your best friend – the greatest people made the biggest number of mistakes.

3) Notice what you get from taking actions. Wonder if the results are as you expected. If not you figure out what should be changed.

4) Flexibility is power. If the last try does not work try something else. Keep in mind how a baby learns to walk. Keep changing.

Knowledge is not power, it is only potential power. You need to take actions.

Keep a Journal, write down the things you learned today – from books, from auditions, from friends. Writing things improve memory of them about 75%, so let’s do this.

Make two decision to make at the moment!

***bike, blog,  gym, math, swimming pool

Today question: Is it worth to watch TV series?

•April 19, 2012 • Leave a Comment

As everything, watching selected TV series has its pluses and minuses.
If you take control of your life and can easily choose to meet friends over waiting for upcoming at late night new episode you do not have to worry.

Californication
Your time is the most valuable thing you possess, so keep in mind the way you spend the bank of 86,400 seconds you got every day. Some people track just one or two serials and it’s reasonable number – try to have limit of two in your mind.

There is plenty of titles we choosing from. Those we decide to watch should give you a lot of drama, fear, laugh or whatever make you feel good and let forget about real life problems. If you have too much time just organize yourself – there is so many things you can do that guarantee better and longer life.
Above I just inserted some tips to help you check how you treat TV series. The real reason I decided to make this post is the idea, that came to me watching one of episodes.

It is easy to find out what kind of values your real life is lacking from knowing serials you watch. In some cases the ‘lack of something’ should be changed by ‘goals’ – women love to watch romantic scenes where they can find love’s proofs, kissing, flower giving etc.. Man’s direction can take us to fast cars, beautiful woman and wealthy… They are kind of things we would like to found in our life. For some people it is just a dream option. Others find the way to motivate themselves this way and I encourage you to join this group!

Find a TV series that except giving you joy will give you energy –  to let you live your life the way you DESERVE IT.