Personal Power day_6

There are four classes of experience in life

Class ONE  – something that feels good, it is good for you, it is good for others and it serves a greater good


Class TWO
– something that does not feel good, but it is good for you, it is good for others and it serves a greater good. Those are the ones the most people want to avoid but those are the secret to joyfuless and succesful life.


Class THREE
– something that feels good, but it is not good for you, it is not good for others and does not serve a greater good. This is a crap we usually do at a regular basis.


Class FOUR
– something that does not feel good, it is not  good for you, it is not good for others and does not serve a greater good.  Why are we doing it? Because of  the fear or just bad habits we have.

The thing we want to get from today session is to learn how to convert Class TWO experiences into Class ONE experiences.


There are six human needs

Need  Of Certainty/Comfort

For large group of people certainty equal survival. Think for a while how do we met this need. Understanding our needs is understanding how to make our lives work. We all have the same needs but still different vehicles to met them. We can put slash between certainty and comfort and because of comfort we want to feel actions are taken. The example can be reaching for some food in stress or cleaning room and organizing desk to postpone making a hard call. We know, those things give as the feeling of control and this is the reason we behave this way.

Some vehicles are neutral, they meet your need but they do not really improve your life. Some are destructive, it will mess your life up if you use them, but the problem is you can got eat like crazy and feel comfortable each time you opening the fridge.  The example of positive vehicle is faith and it does not matter what religion you believe. Be sure that you are guided, that there is spiritual power that  will take care of  your life to go in the direction it should. The positive  identity  for yourself is another great vehicle to use. You have  enough your own experience, you are already smart enough to be sure that whatever happen you will deal with it.

There is the real problem that comes out with need of certainty. What happened when you got totally certain? Firstly you feel comfortable, you are confident and have no worries, but after a while when you are able to predict all what will happen you get bored.  The killer is that you have the second need that is directly in conflict with the first one and this is the paradox – you have the  need the uncertainty.

Need Of Uncertainty/ Variety

Certainty can give you the sense of peace but if you just seat around in peace all the time you will become just bored person. You can possess all you can only imagine but if you have no variety in you life you get depressed. You are not designed to be in peace – live is a movement, life is an emotion. And even if it looks like those two needs are in conflict, they actually are complementary, they serve us. If you know the result of a football game, all the action during the match before it even happen – would you be exited about watching it? In relationship it is the same, if you really certain about each part of relation you get bored! So you need variety, challenge, you need to do new things, to have deep talks that are not about whether!

Sometimes people choose poor vehicles. They devaluate they values to get their needs met. It is not a good thing – if you pick the  wrong vehicle it creates more pain. It gives you experiences that feel good but are not good for you, are not good for others and do not serve greater good. We need to understand what type of need we want to met and choose the most productive way to do this.

The alcohol is often the choice that let people change the state of their mind. You need to remember that this is a destructive way of meeting your need.  They can meet them in a short time but they will cost you in a long-term. The way you feel after drugs or alcohol are the Class THREE experiences – they feel good but they are not good for you, they are not serve others. Keep in mind that it is not possible to leave the vehicle you already use to meet you needs. The only way is to switch one vehicle to another. Otherwise you will use back the one you ‘left’ in real short time!

How do you try to get certain in your life, what you do to feel comfortable?
What about variety? What  are some of the ways you create uncertainty in positive way , how you create surprise in your life?

Need for Significance/ To Be Needed/ To Be Important for Others

Some people feel sense of significance by learning new things, by  being unique. Others like to be in hospital seeing all their relatives visiting them. Everyone has its own way to feel significant, but the main rule is to be different. If there were a group of clones of one person – would it be hard to lose one of them?

Need for Connection and Love

It is the one you can find having best friend, partner and good relation with your friends and family. If you are so busy being significant, being unique you are different from others and that separates you from people. Many celebrities  do not feel connection with anyone, they are  often alone at their great mansions.

Need to Growth

We are not happy unless we are growing as people. It does not matter how much you achieved, how many people think you are wonderful – growth is it. Look at the people who are the best at the world in what they do, who everyone else is admire  but they are not happy because they STOPPED growing. That is why no matter what standard you’ve  achieved you got to have the higher standards for yourself, you got to keep going forward. Growth equal life.

Need to Contribute/ to Be Beyond Yourself

Everything should serve the higher purpose, to serve the greater good not just its self  or will not last – including you. Are not you most happy when you know you have done the right thing? It is the wonderful feeling that is very important to feel there is a reason why we are in the place we are.

Little secret

Whatever need you want to fulfil in your life – give it. Whatever need you want to receive – give it. If you will make somebody feel needed, feel special then more than likely they will make you feel needed.

Summary

You can meet those first four needs in destructive ways and thereby feel little fulfil, just enough that you are really not happy but you are not dissatisfied enough to change and you will not be fulfilled because you will not growth and contribute. Think about things you do that meet all six of you needs, that you just driven to do them. Then think about things that you hate. It is possible to find new patterns so when doing the same things have all the six needs met. There are questions you should ask yourself to change the way you feel doing different things:

What can I belive about it? Maybe I can belive that I been guided to do this, maybe  I can belive that I truly serve other people, maybe I can get some instruction to feel more skilled in this area. Maybe I can add music during cleaning my house, maybe try to do things in different way than usually. What can I perceive differently. How can I appreciate how important it is. How can I feel more love –  maybe you need feell stronger connecton to Good, maybe just with yourself. Even somebody’s smiles is a contribution for your work, remember about it.

You need to give you these needs, not to wait for them to show up!

Advertisements

~ by howbadoyouwant on April 30, 2012.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: